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January 16, 2007
Kick in the keister
So my pity party of sorts is officially over, I received some great "sermon food" this weekend and seem to have a different perspective on my day lately. It's been quite enjoyable and I'm hoping will last the long haul. I was in the Ridge taking the girls to a slumber party with their Nann and got to visit my Uncle Tommy's church. What struck me about his sermon (delivered in his super hero stance, legs apart- hands on hips) was his talking about what kind of person we are reflecting. Are we joy filled, or are we demanding? Am I the kind of person that causes people to be anxious when I am around them, do they feel like they are failing a test they didn't sign up for, does Andy feel that way? There was a lot to reflect on as I wondered how much of my day I make harder than it actually needs to be. I saw a bit of how cynical I am and how my sarcasm can cover things that I actually wish I had more of. (that was vague I know) Then we had communion and I couldn't help but to be heart broken by the fact that I didn't feel freedom although its freedom that Jesus' sacrifice offers us. I came back to town wanting to lay on my bed and be alone a bit, and my sweet husband gave me an hour to myself. That evening I got to go to NCF to hear Mike Higgins and jam with our choir which was much needed. He continued to challenge me to think about what I might be "carrying" around and who I actually believed God to be. It was all very needed and I sort of feel like I am in the process of shedding a thick heavy coat soaked in water which was weighing me down, it seems to be sliding off my arms. I'm sure my flesh will get in the way and I'll once again muck things up but I'm hoping it will be easier next time to return to this place of trust, obedience and accepting what He has to offer. Grace. . .it can be a tricky thing, if you let your perspective of yourself get in the way.
| By JennR | 2:11 PM
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