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August 5, 2007
Commenting on pregnancy
I thought I would compile a list of comments that I have experienced and my friends have experienced while being pregnant, in the hope of making others laugh and educating a few folks on what might not be good things to say. . .
(these may not offend all pregnant women, but in my experience more often than not we could go through our day without hearing most of them)
1. Wow, its really starting to show in your face!- Inappropriate, translation in a women's mind- you're gaining weight.
2. Are you expecting twins?- Never a good question, especially when someone is only 28 weeks along!
3. You look like you're ready to have that baby soon.- Another poor comment to make, especially when the person is only 28 weeks pregnant!
4. You REALLY look pregnant now, I mean not just hmmmm is she overweight, but really pregnant!- Meant with the best of intentions, but still nope.
5. You look full!- the commenter did not know this particular person was 10 weeks pregnant. (that's just an inappropriate comment to make in general)
6. You look healthy! (told to me by a stranger- translation- you're eating well!)
7. Are you eating again!?!? (asked in a cutesy voice, this will set any pregnant women off)
8. Have you been eating lots of pickles and ice cream?- this one is quite innocent, but it does annoy me to no end. It's usually one gender that tends to go in this direction because I'm pretty sure its all they know to say. Here's a secret, you are not required to say anything, we already think about it 24/7 so no worries.
9. (in response to asking a friend how she was doing)- I feel like you look, bloated.- LOL! In defense of this friend she followed up with saying at least I had the excuse of having a human being in my belly, but I still thought it was funny and worthy of the list!
Words to avoid- thick, full, filling out, bloated- LOL, heavy and twins just to be safe. And its best not to raise your eyebrows in astonishment when you see us making it seem like we're a bit of a side show. :)
So here are some good things to say. . .
Using the word "cute" is always a good idea.
1. It just looks like a cute little soccer ball.
2. You can't even tell your pregnant from behind!
3. You look great!- this is always a good safe one
Feel free to comment and add to these . . . then we can all have a laugh!
:)
| By JennR | 9:43 PM
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Comments
Great list! Additions - 1)trying to guess how far along someone is - nothing like being 4 months along and someone asking if you are 7 months, 2) the word wide 3) When I announced at 12 weeks that I was pregnant the first time, a woman told me she thought so, because my butt had gotten bigger.
Posted by: Sharon at August 6, 2007 1:07 PM
so i think another would be the question of when is the baby due? followed by maybe it will be born on my birthday........i never understood how irritating this was until now! it's silly, but it really bugs me! good to hear from you, and i would love to get together soon and find out what you thought about the book!!!
Posted by: erin at August 6, 2007 3:17 PM
My sisters are both around 5'3" and have small frames, and frequently between 30-40 weeks, random people told them they looked like they were going to pop. Now how do you just tell a stranger she looks like she's going to pop? And how many people actually, literally, pop?
Posted by: martha at August 6, 2007 6:00 PM
rule 1:never ask someone if they are pregnant...even if they look 9 months pregnant to you...what if they are not pregnant or what if they have just had the baby?
1. by someone who has never been pregnant, during the first weeks of pregnancy she said to me when I told her I felt tired all the time: "you have started being tired early", to which I promptly replied, "you obviously have never been pregnant"
2. this comment was made all in one day..."everytime i see you, you seem bigger, you must have had a good lunch. my goodness, we ate the same exact lunch!!
3. Like your number one, someone told me to my face that my face had become fat!
DO NOT COMMENT ON THE SIZE OF THE TUMMY USING WORDS LIKE BIG, HUGE, SHARP. Just keep it to yourself if you cannot say something good, even if the pregnant person says it herself that she is big, do NOT agree with her. just keep quiet.
Posted by: grace at August 6, 2007 6:15 PM
Oh my, you guys crack me up! I can't believe some people and their mouths. Hats off to those of you in the work place because you get the priviledge of a lot more comments. When I was in my old office doing lots of freelance over the past two months thats when I got to hear lots of odd things. I'm so glad my main circle is other moms who asks intelligent questions and seem to know better. Hang in there my pregnant friends!
Posted by: jenn at August 7, 2007 9:31 AM