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July 16, 2008
Is this going to work? More potty woes.
So after a near melt down at the pediatrician during Caroline's wellness visit we are on the road to a new potty strategy with Julia. She still does not care as much as we would like her to and doesn't initiate enough. It has been a long difficult battle and once we realized it had turned into just that we decided to change tactics, with the encouragement of her dr.
My anger and frustration levels were going through the roof with each incident and I'm ashamed to admit that my handing of it was very negative as I lectured her after each time she soiled her drawers. I was at the end of my rope with her.
We recognize that Julia knows what it feels like and knows where our bathroom is and we are letting her take responsibility now. This means we just don't talk about it anymore which is SO hard after a year of being trained to stalk your child and ask them every 20 minutes if they have peepee for the potty. Also if she goes in her pants then she helps with clean up, both the floor and her pants. The first time we rinsed her panties out together she said, "I really love this mommy." LOL Not exactly the affect I was hoping for but possibly her realizing that my attitude was very different. We are taking a totally neutral stance on the process and letting her lead. Seems simple and we'll see how long the road is ahead of us but I am no longer angry and feel more peaceful. As peaceful as one can feel knowing someone might be peeing on the carpet at any moment. I think the anger is gone since I'm not asking her all the time and if she has an accident I haven't just asked 5 seconds ago. If that's all this process accomplishes then its worked for now.
We're not sure if we'll be sending her to the preschool coop Lizzie went to, at least until after winter break. This makes me a little sad for both her and myself, but I don't want to send her unless I'm sure she'll do her business in a potty.
When I think about training Julia and where we are at with it I really struggle with pride and embarrassment over her age (3.5) and the fact that she hasn't taken to potty training after a year! I think that too was where some of my anger and frustration was coming from, which is completely unfair to place on her.
So thats where we're at with our potty journey and Jules, that began oh so many months ago when she was taking off her own diaper to use the bathroom and I reluctantly began the process. Since then we've done, m&ms, skittles, jelly beans, pennies, sticker charts and any other incentive I can think of. LOL
Besides the accidents, it is kind of relaxing not to be asking her during the day and when she initiates its so exciting because we know its all her!
| By JennR | 2:36 PM
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Comments
hang in there!!! i'll be praying for you!!!
Posted by: erin at July 16, 2008 5:58 PM
hang in there! I was not very happy about washing her underwear too and told her that she will be washing them, and like your daughter, she did not see anything wrong with that, infact, She enjoyed washing her underwear??? She will probably do good in school when she sees other kids going. just hang in there!!
Posted by: grace at July 16, 2008 6:39 PM
I used to get all kinds of irritated when my pediatrician would tell me that Abbie would just do it when she was ready. I wanted her to do it now! We started the process when she was 18 months old, and she is now finally successful, even at night...and she's 3 1/2, too. We did the exact same thing that you're doing now, just backed off and let her do it. However, there were consequences when she had an "accident." I put that in quotes because she knew exactly what she was doing. If she didn't go to the potty, she lost one of her beloved stuffed animals for the day, or something like that.
Another thing that really helped was having to put her back in daycare for a time. One of her best friends was already wearing big girl panties and going potty all the time, and she eventually just did it. Now she only wears pull-ups at night, and even then, she's waking up dry every morning.
It will happen...I promise!! :-)
Posted by: Tracy at July 16, 2008 8:06 PM
By the way, remind me of this conversation when I'm frustrated to death going through the same process with Daniel! I'm hoping that he'll be easier because he absolutely despises being wet or dirty. We'll see...
Posted by: Tracy at July 16, 2008 8:07 PM
That's the kind of thing the Potty Whisperer did on the Today show. She said if you ask them all the time it makes it your responsibility, and you want it to be their responsibility.
I hope it works. Henry pee'd in the floor at a coffee shop today and then announced it loudly after the fact over and over and over...
Posted by: Mary at July 17, 2008 11:23 PM
okay, i know that it probably wasn't funny at all at the time, but mary's story almost made me laugh out loud!
Posted by: erin at July 18, 2008 3:44 PM
Hey Cousin! Remember when you came to help with my kindergarten class and I had an "accident"? Well, yes it was embarassing but you and Heather made me feel all better. Best cousins ever!
Posted by: Elizabeth at July 22, 2008 11:47 AM