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August 13, 2008
She didn't think about me . . .;)
(picture with daddy before leaving for school, mommy was still in pjs so didn't make it into a shot!)
Our first day of kindergarten went off without a hitch! Lizzie had a great time today and climbed into the van after school all smiles. I twisted around to see her excitement and felt like I was going to tear up a little bit. I told her how proud I was and was gushing over her and said, "I missed you so much. Did you miss mommy?" to which she happily replied, "No, I didn't even really think about you at all!" LOL
She was so upbeat about it and so proud I couldn't help but to laugh and to tell the story over and over again.
It was strange today, to know she was experiencing all these new things and I wasn't there with her- even to just observe her response. I think that was the hardest part. I certainly thought about her, I had her class schedule pulled up on the computer and checked it often.
Things at home are very different without Lizzie. While I LOVE her many wonderful qualities, she is probably my most draining child. I didn't mean that as negative as it sounds. Lizzie is very social, likes to be busy and is not always good at doing that on her own so that has made our relationship this last year (since I had Caroline) a bit challenging. Me being too tired to be "all I can be" for her and her getting upset at me for not entertaining her. It was a tug-of-war between annoyance and guilt for me. Plus I think parenting a 5 yr old is more complex than younger ages, you are into character issues and for me its more mentally draining. Julia's discipline for now seems more cut and dry. (except for the potty stuff which is anything but dry- lol)
So while I am so sad to miss out on her everyday adventures things at home are a bit smoother with only two. (Am I allowed to write stuff like that? hope it didn't just sound like I was celebrating getting rid of one of my kids!)
Julia and I read A LOT today which was nice and relaxing. At lunch I asked her if she wanted to listen to music and she said "can I pick it out?" and I thought that was kind of funny since Lizzie wasn't here and now she gets to pick everything. Her big accomplishment for the day was eating an entire apple without it being sliced up. She was so proud!
I didn't get much done today and felt like I spent most the day waiting till we could go get Lizzie. I'm sure eventually I'll become more productive!
Maybe tomorrow. . .:)
| By JennR | 10:21 PM
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