Uh-oh Mommy

Is this going to work? More potty woes.

So after a near melt down at the pediatrician during Caroline's wellness visit we are on the road to a new potty strategy with Julia. She still does not care as much as we would like her to and doesn't initiate enough. It has been a long difficult battle and once we realized it had turned into just that we decided to change tactics, with the encouragement of her dr.
My anger and frustration levels were going through the roof with each incident and I'm ashamed to admit that my handing of it was very negative as I lectured her after each time she soiled her drawers. I was at the end of my rope with her.
We recognize that Julia knows what it feels like and knows where our bathroom is and we are letting her take responsibility now. This means we just don't talk about it anymore which is SO hard after a year of being trained to stalk your child and ask them every 20 minutes if they have peepee for the potty. Also if she goes in her pants then she helps with clean up, both the floor and her pants. The first time we rinsed her panties out together she said, "I really love this mommy." LOL Not exactly the affect I was hoping for but possibly her realizing that my attitude was very different. We are taking a totally neutral stance on the process and letting her lead. Seems simple and we'll see how long the road is ahead of us but I am no longer angry and feel more peaceful. As peaceful as one can feel knowing someone might be peeing on the carpet at any moment. I think the anger is gone since I'm not asking her all the time and if she has an accident I haven't just asked 5 seconds ago. If that's all this process accomplishes then its worked for now.
We're not sure if we'll be sending her to the preschool coop Lizzie went to, at least until after winter break. This makes me a little sad for both her and myself, but I don't want to send her unless I'm sure she'll do her business in a potty.
When I think about training Julia and where we are at with it I really struggle with pride and embarrassment over her age (3.5) and the fact that she hasn't taken to potty training after a year! I think that too was where some of my anger and frustration was coming from, which is completely unfair to place on her.
So thats where we're at with our potty journey and Jules, that began oh so many months ago when she was taking off her own diaper to use the bathroom and I reluctantly began the process. Since then we've done, m&ms, skittles, jelly beans, pennies, sticker charts and any other incentive I can think of. LOL
Besides the accidents, it is kind of relaxing not to be asking her during the day and when she initiates its so exciting because we know its all her!

seven years

It seems like its been a blink of an eye, these last 7 years and yet SO much has happened since that walk down the aisle.
I hate that our anniversary is during such a particularly hectic time this summer, I didn't even realize till last night that it was today and sadly there are no fun plans to celebrate. But an evening of hanging out together at home and watching the girls be crazy will be enough for me. :) Hmmm, maybe with some flowers thrown in somehow. LOL

I love you tons honey and there is no one else I'd rather share this adventure with! You are an incredible father, a true girls' dad which is an amazing blessing. Your patience and calmness is a necessity in this household of crazy ladies and we would be lost without you. Thank you for living in our estrogen ocean and being a wonderful partner in life!

You are the best!

Happy Birthday sweet Lizzie Lu!!!

My sweet Lizzie is 5!! I can't believe it, my baby is getting so big!

As a little baby a mere five years ago.

After a tough afternoon of "crying it out" this is how you fell asleep at nap time. LOL

Happy little toddler!

You are an amazing big sister, always trying to find the balance between leading and yet still able to be compassionate which is something I'm so thankful for.

You have surprised me on so many occasions this year, your ability to handle certain situations has made us so proud. We love you so much and can't wait to see what this next year brings, watch out kindergarten here you come!!!

What is up with White Cloud diapers

I think White Cloud diapers (sold at Walmart) have changed their quality and size slightly in a way that I am not happy with. I went to buy a box of size 3s last week and noticed you get more per box and there was a new design, which was exciting at first. But when we put them on Caroline they were like string bikinis! How could she have outgrown them so quickly? I don't remember the last box being so small! So I literally gave away half the box and bought the 4s to try and figured they might have changed their design but its also likely she really did out grow them.
Well, I just found a size 3 in the girls' room with the old design and it fits fine! So they did change the design and fit!! I don't like the new ones and am fairly annoyed.
Anyone else noticing issues? I might break my generic buying streak and change to pampers!

(I know, a whole post about diapers but I'm thinking majority of my readers are in the same stage and if not they probably clicked away at the first sentence)

TV makes me feel better. :)

A few nights ago Andy and I stumbled upon the show Clean House and got stuck watching. I have passed by this show before but turned it because the host is so obnoxious! But they were cleaning the second dirtiest house in America and I couldn't change the channel although I really wanted to. It was as if this couple had taken their bed and placed it in the center of a dump, seriously. It was unreal and GROSS! But after watching that I didn't feel nearly as stressed about my own house, especially since I so wisely chose that time to watch tv and not pick up or do dishes. After all I don't have petrified cat poop in my hall closet!
Another show I like to watch to make me feel better is Super Nanny. I'll click over to see how wild other people's kids are so it can put my kids crazy antics into perspective. I usually really appreciate Andy after those episodes as well since the husbands are not always terribly involved and my husband ROCKS! LOL
Surprisingly enough I've actually talked with some friends about her methods before, like how she gets kids to get back into their own beds at night. I've actually heard myself saying, Super Nanny suggests just to walk them back to their room with minimal to no interaction. LOL
And last but not least one of my faves Jon and Kate plus Eight. This show is addicting and watching her makes me feel less critical and less controlling. LOL
Put the daily insanity into perspective. :)
I'm not able to catch all these shows ALL the time but its fun to check in every once in a while.

On another note, since I haven't posted about this yet this season- my show that I absolutely won't miss is So You Think You Can Dance. I've mentioned this to folks before and someone said to me, ugh those dancing shows like Dancing with the Stars. No no no, this is so much better, with real dancers and real choreographers. Granted if you don't like that type of thing then you won't like it. But its my one non negotiable show during the week- meaning Andy has to endure it. So here are my faves if you are a fan too- Katie and Joshua and Kerrington and Twitch.

And there's my little tv two cents. I swear I don't spend each evening on the couch in from of the tv. No really I don't!!!!! LOL

Where we've been...

I can't believe its been so long since I've posted, oops!
Life has been a bit nuts. We redid our kitchen and have been cleaning the house in preparation for some big visits coming up. Granted we didn't need to paint the kitchen and install new countertops for family but it was fun to use it as a deadline and we have wanted to do it for a while anyway. Andy is also working hard at finishing the base boards in the basement, our final step to completing that project.
Our holiday weekend was more fun than I had expected. We went to a cookout on the 4th and had a great time with friends. We also met up with friends at Coolidge on Sat night which was lots of fun too. The girls are thoroughly tired but had a great time.

This week the craziness is not ending. Lizzie's birthday is on Thursday and we're having a small party with family on Saturday. Andy's parents will also be coming to visit for the weekend and then the following week my Dad and family are coming for a 10 day visit. Phew! I really want to do my best to enjoy each day of the next few weeks and not get caught up in the tasks that need to be done. Please pray for me to this end. : )

Until then, here are some picts of my patriotic girls on the 4th and from the fountain last week.

She called me out!

Yesterday was a typical Monday, I was tired the girls were whiny from a long weekend and we were butting heads. We were nearing 5:30, the arrival of daddy, preparation of dinner, and quite possibly the toughest time of day and Lizzie said something to me and I sighed and said "you girls are really frustrating me today". To which she responded, "why, you're the one with the bad attitude!" She was dead serious and I was shocked. My almost 5 yr old sounded like a smart mouth 15 yr old. I was angry, scared of her future adolescence and a bit humbled. She was immediately sent to her room where she awaited a talk with her dad who was on his way home. I was so angry but not quite sure if I was more angry at myself or at her. While I truly believe she was wrong in her tone and disrespect, she was also right in what she said.
I thought about it a lot last night and today. Lizzie continues to be such a reflection to me of my attitude as a parent. Tonight I realized what a wonderful thing that was. It can be completely annoying and aggravating but the alternative would be worse. If I only had Julia I could very well coast by for the most part. She doesn't challenge me to the depths like Lizzie does. Sure she throws her fits and still struggles with potty training, but she rarely challenges my character. I think its because Lizzie and I are very much a like and it often comes down to a struggle of control.
Lizzie is my accountability to be on my A game as a parent and I certainly can't do that on my own. It's a great reminder of my reliance on God to be able to be an example to these girls. How humbling is that, an example. I once heard a speaker say that parenting was about 3 things- modeling, teaching and holding accountable.
That same speaker also said- rules w/o relationship = rebellion and relationship w/o rules= permissiveness and self-centeredness.
With Lizzie I definitely have to balance rules and restrictions with maintaining a good relationship with her and more importantly investing my time with her. In all honesty this is sometimes challenging for me. But it continues to be reiterated over and over to me, what I'm called to do as her mom.
I'm so thankful to have a child that will help to refine me as a parent. I know that won't always be my attitude and this will be something we'll keep working as long as we're mother and daughter but its nice to have a bit of clarity in the midst of the everyday muck.

That's a new one

I just settled a dispute with Lizzie and Julia that made me laugh afterward, and I definitely want to remember this one.

They are playing in the basement and I heard Julia screaming at the top of her lungs so I asked her to come sit in time out at the top of the stairs till she could calm down and we could figure out what the problem was.
Once she calmed down I asked her why she was screaming at Lizzie and she said she wasn't, she was screaming at her kids. (hmmm, trying not to take that as a reflection on my parenting) As it turns out she had been teaching an imaginary class and Lizzie took her imaginary kids and she was screaming for them to come back. LOL
So I asked her if she could pretend that an imaginary bus came and dropped off more imaginary kids and she could have a new class. (wailing) She answered "NO, I want my own kids back." She went down the stairs and asked her kids to come back to class and I heard Lizzie in a high pitched voice say "no, we're going to stay here forever". More crying from Julia. LOL This whole interaction is hilarious to me, that they are using imaginary kids as a pawn.

So how did I settled this little dispute? I went downstairs and asked the imaginary class to go back to Julia's class and asked Lizzie to be the librarian and we decided they would soon go back to the library for reading time. LOL

Kids names: Truman, Carter, Nina, McKenna, Alevi, Tressly, Jude and Kendal
But there are 10 kids, go figure that one!!

(these names were repeated to me more than 3 times and they are in library time now in case you are wondering)

Knock Knock . . .

The girls have been into knock knock jokes lately, mostly Julia. It's pretty funny since they don't really understand the play on words and punch lines.
We told them one where you say "banana" when the person says who's there and then you repeat it over and over- "knock knock, who's there?, banana, banana who? knock knock, who's there?, banana, banana who? etc". And then before the irritation sets it, you answer with "orange" instead and when they say whose there, you say "orange you glad I didn't say banana". (it was crucial you know the joke for the story to make sense) lol
So in the van yesterday Julia is telling me a knock knock joke and it went like this:
J- knock knock Me- who's there?
J- chip Me- chip who?
J- knock knock Me- who's there?
J- orange Me- orange who?
J- knock knock Me- who's there?
J- banana Me- banana who?
J- aren't you glad I didn't say potato?

huh? LOL
(giggles from the back seat at her own joke)

Lizzie tried her version of it as well but switched the words so she started with orange and kept repeating it and I wondered if she would realize it didn't make sense. But she didn't and ended triumphantly with banana and said- "Aren't you glad I didn't say orange"!
And more giggles from both my little comedians.

Lovely

Thanks Aunt Jodie for the beautiful picts!!!

yummy lemon pound cake

Andy asked for a lemon cake for his birthday so at my sister's advise I searched on epicurious and read some reviews. I found one I thought looked good and wanted to pass it on because it was SO yummy and I highly recommend it.

I didn't have the pan they asked for so I made mine in a loaf pan (did I mention I made it twice this weekend!) but next time I'll double it and make it in a bundt pan.
I also didn't use the lemon verbena but used the extra lemon zest.
The first time I made it I used the glaze that was recommended but it made the cake soggy and was REALLY lemony. The second time I searched for my own glaze and found this one and it was so good. Instead of vanilla I used some fresh lemon juice till I liked how it tasted. Because of the butter it hardened over time so I think it would be really good drizzled over the finished cake.

The girls wanted to eat the lemons that were left over and Julia did not like it at all, I think this is why!!

This is probably a really easy recipe to most of you but I'm not really a baker so I am very excited when a recipe turns out and is really good. If you are a lemon lover like us then you will love it!

birthday weekend

We spent this weekend celebrating Andy's birthday. I'm especially excited because its his last year in the twenties and then he'll be THIRTY. LOL I'm so over the ribbing I receive for being in my thirties first and I'll be glad when he's an old man too. :)
We went on a great date together and it was a nice reminder of what good company my husband is, without little ankle biters around.

On sunday we went on a hike at Cloudland Canyon. I had wanted to check it out for when my dad and his family come for a visit. Mostly I wanted to see if the girls could handle the .6 mile hike down into the canyon and then back up.

It was really gorgeous up there and the whole time I kept thinking, we have to come back in the fall. I bet the trees are breathtaking.

The girls did awesome! All the stairs you see us going down, we also had to come up again. Of course on the way we passed people who would make comments like, "wow, I feel sorry for you," and "you know you'll have to carry her all the way back up don't you?" (talking about Julia). I already had Caroline on my back and the plan was not to carry anymore children!

On the way back up we let them sit whenever they wanted and we took our time. At each break instead of resting Julia entertained us with some dancing. LOL

Towards the top when it got pretty difficult I sang with Julia to distract her. It's amazing how much energy " A Spoon Full of Sugar" and "Jingle Bells" can give you! We got lots of laughs over her singing. She was a trooper and I was pretty proud of them.

When we were driving home Julia said, "That jungle didn't have very many animals mommy. There were no tigers or monkeys, only puppies." (referring to the many dogs we saw on the hike)
LOL

It was a very fun relaxing weekend without much obligation. Although my calves are killing me from the 400 stairs we walked up and down!!!

stranger danger

My Lizzie is very friendly, almost too friendly. If you've been at the park with us you will have probably witnessed her striking up a conversation with other parents at the park. Or she'll just awkwardly stand by another family until they engage her in conversation or their child goes to play with her. I vainly find these moments sort of embarrassing, especially when the family starts to eat their lunch or has snacks and she continues to be in their space and stare. At this point I usually call her away and encourage her to go play.
So this past Monday was no different. After about an hour of hanging out at the park I notice that Lizzie is hanging out on a bench across the park with a grandmother who had brought her granddaughter to play. Is the granddaughter there visiting as well, nope, just my daughter and this lady. She would leave and play a little bit and then come back and visit so I finally called her over. I asked her what she was chatting about and she said that the lady had given her a piece of ice. I said, WHAT!?!?!? Why in the world did she give you ice and Lizzie told me it was because she said she was thirsty. Needless to say she sat on the bench in time out with me for a bit. I sternly told her that we DO NOT take food or anything to drink from people we don't know and from now on she wasn't to talk to people unless mommy was talking to them or unless we knew them. Not to even mention my frustration that my daughter probably dropped some not so subtle hints to this lady about how yummy her water looked!
I've talked to a few moms since this incident who have confirmed that no this was not ok! Andy doesn't see it as a big deal but I do. He thought it was pretty harmless, even with my comments that it could have been vodka on the rocks. LOL
So its brought on lots of thoughts of how to set boundaries with Lizzie. I have to be honest, I am usually more self conscious than anything when she is talking to other parents but I have to say that her feeling free to talk to strange men makes me the most uncomfortable. I feel uncomfortable even typing that since its jumping to conclusions about people, but isn't that my job as a mom of THREE GIRLS!
When do I tell my kids that there are some people in the world who aren't so nice and might want to take you from your parents. I'm afraid it would freak her out. I realize its hard to ask for feedback on a topic like this one since each child has a different personality and can handle different things but I would love to hear what other moms have done.
My sister recommended a book which I read some of online and freaked me out.
I also found a berenstain bears book which seems like it might be age appropriate but I'm not sure if I should get it and treat it like a casual topic or if we should have a talk and then read it.
So by now if you think that I am way over thinking this then you are probably right. But with Lizzie if I give her too much info she will obsess about it and I don't want her to be overly fearful, but I do think this topic of dangerous strangers needs to be introduced and I'm not sure how to do it. Any ideas???

Good times by all

Celebrating mother's day a tad early with my mom took us out to coolidge park for lots of running, carousel riding and yummy ice cream!
I'm heading off tomorrow for a day trip to Atlanta with friends, baby included, to hit IKEA, Trader Joes and Anthropology. Happy mommys day to me!!!

Once we had our third I realized that in family picts its a success if everyones there not if everyone is looking!!

(can you see Julia's death grip?)

Febrile Seizures

So 2am Tuesday morning found us waiting on an ambulance after experiencing a febrile seizure with Julia. As the week has gone on and I have shared this experience with friends most have said they have either never heard of them or wouldn't know what to do during one. I wanted to give a very real account of what the experience was like for us; one to help me get past this horrifying experience and two on the chance that someone might read it or discuss it with someone and know what to expect if they have to unfortunately experience one with their child.
My nieces have each had febrile seizures (it runs in the family) the most recent of which was this past Dec, so my sisters description was with me while I was holding Julia and I think that provided me with some sense of sanity. The little knowledge that I had kept me from going crazy.
Let me preface this account by saying febrile seizures are completely harmless most of the time and my goal is not to strike fear into the hearts of other mothers. I myself am currently trying not to live in fear. 1 in 25 children experience them ranging from ages 6 months to 5yrs. The older you are when you have your first one the less likely you are to have another one, so the likelihood of it happening again to Julia is extremely low. This fact has not kept me from going into her room every night just about every two hours to feel her head though. I'm hoping and praying for the paranoia to fade.
So Sunday afternoon Julia was developing a pretty good cough. Every cold she gets usually is in her chest and coughing for her is nothing new. Monday her breathing sounded labored to me and the cough was worse (we found out later she had croup). About 1:30 that night we woke up to coughing and Lizzie calling to us since Julia had just thrown up. I went in there and she was burning up. We have seen temps of 103 and 104 in our kids so her radiating heat was not shocking and I estimated her temp at nearly 103. I was using the touch method. She washed off in the tub and we gave her motrin and put her back down. I was concerned about how hot she was and was going to go back in after the 3am feeding to feel her. But at 2am we woke to more coughing and she had thrown up again. Still burning up and wanting to rinse off again so I decided she should have a tepid bath to lower the temp which she hated of course. I got her to lay back in the little amount of water that was in the tub to rinse her hair. She was looking at me and seemed like a blank stare and I started to say her name and she was staring at the ceiling and jerking ever so slightly. I pulled her up by her shoulders and said her name over and over. I got her out of the tub and onto my lap and Andy came to the door of the bathroom and I told him to call an ambulance. I held her there on the floor of the bathroom alternating between calling her name and crying out to Jesus. The experience for me was indescribable. She was shaking and her eyes seemed to be moving all around and her lips were turning blue and other parts of her face were blue. I held her head to the side and continued to wipe the saliva from the side of her mouth and inside I was on the verge of losing it. I did have thoughts of my sister though and I remember she told me when she held Isabelle during one of her seizures she thought- so this is what its like to hold your child while they're dying and there's nothing you can do. Even though I had that thought there was another part of my brain which remembered, ok Isabelle's lips turned blue too and she pulled out of it. So it was all these quick thoughts at once. I was pretty sure it was a febrile seizure but still terrified. I think it probably lasted about 30sec-1min and then she went completely limp and peed all over me. This too didn't really surprise me and again it was like I had a check list in my mind from my sister's experience knowing that now we were in the stage where she would be unresponsive. Seizures zap them of all energy and it seemed like she essentially passed out. I handed her off to Andy to get dressed for the hospital and he put a diaper on her and held her on the couch. Her skin was very pale and her lips had no color but she was breathing and I thought well we're breathing so that's a good sign. We considered just driving to tc thompson ourselves as we got a bit anxious waiting but decided not to. We were unable to wake a friend to come over to be with the girls and didn't want to push the issue so I went alone to the hospital (that was not a guilt trip!!! LOL). Although I did get the third degree from several friends for not trying harder and I so appreciate our community of friends. I told Andy when I left that if they did invasive testing for whatever reason I was going to call him and we were going to start waking everyone we knew! We were both ok with this arrangement. By the time the paramedics got there she would get eye contact again and cried when I put her on the stretcher and one paramedic commented that a crying baby was a happy baby to him.
The hospital itself was fairly uneventful, they didn't even do blood work. Although the paramedic did an iv in the moving ambulance which made me very nervous and I said, "you're doing that HERE!?!?" but that was probably the worst for her. She was diagnosed with croup and febrile seizure. Apparently they are very common and not alarming unless a child seizes for over 10 minutes, YES 10 MINUTES!!! I would have freaked then. But the reality is that the seizure is the body's way of protecting itself which seems so strange to me because visually it looks like anything but harmless!!
We were home by 5am that morning and Julia had fallen asleep in the ER finally after a popsicle and playing with my cell phone taking pictures of the room. The Dr was surprised I was handling it so well but he didn't know that every time he left the room I cried and I just laid in her bed with her and cried. I do think though that once again hearing my sister's account helped immensely.
For at least that first day I cried when I walked by the bathroom and could play it back in my mind and I had a hard time sleeping. She has had a fever each night and while I know the likelihood of a repeat is slim to none I can't help but be so anxious. I keep seeing these blue lips and vacant eyes. Not trying to be melodramatic just saying its taking time to get over that minute of my life.
Things feel like they are slowly returning to normal, I mean mostly inside my head. Because the next day for her it was like nothing happened. She still has a cold but is also still fighting with her sister and acting her crazy Julia self.
It's so strange. I told Andy that the more time that passes and the more I talk to our dr or read about it the sillier I feel since its so "normal". But it didn't feel that way when it happened and I feel like we are still dealing with it.
It's not even recommended to call an ambulance when it happens. Calling your Dr office to let them know it happened is enough, unless it last for several minutes then you are supposed to seek medical care. My sister said she doesn't care what they say she calls the ambulance everytime, I think I would be the same way. I was also talking to a friend of mine who is a nurse yesterday who agreed that seizures were one thing that still made her nervous as a nurse but that she remembered the ER nurses used to be annoyed when parents brought their kids in for febrile seizures because it wasn't necessary. I thought, those nurses need to hold their own kids while their lips turn blue before they pass judgement on other parents.